I been thinking in all caps.

I BEEN CEDING CONTROL TO FEAR
I BEEN SHAKING MY THIGHS
I BEEN PISSING MYSELF ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH
I BEEN EMBRACING MEMORY
I BEEN SCREAMING
I BEEN SCREAMING LOUDLY WHERE AM I AND WHOSE LEGS ARE THESE AND WHOS   INSIDE MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW

I BEEN MEETING THE BANSHEE

I BEEN LOOKING FOR CLUES

I BEEN CLUTCHING THE TOP CORNERS OF THE BED, SPITTING BLOOD ON THE PILLOW CASE, SAYING this is your bedroom and this the life you made this is the present this is all you really have this is hell this is 

I BEEN REMEMBERING THE GENITALS OF EACH OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS 

I BEEN 'RUBBING ONE RAW'
I BEEN ORGANIZING MY TRIGGERS ALPHABETICALLY
I BEEN STARTING WITH THE CITY OF  BELLFLOWER, CALIFORNIA
I BEEN REFUSING TO END.

I BEEN FINDING CREATIVE WAYS TO ADMIT DEFEAT.